Focus on the Donut, not the Hole
Donuts are a sore subject in our home.
Jeff takes our girls out for donuts to get into “daddy trouble.” The girls have grown to love these special traditions with their dad, so it is very hard to start a revolution against donuts in our house.
I once read that donuts are in the top 5 most unhealthy foods a person can eat, so I may grumble from time to time. I tease Jeff that, though he is killing our children one donut at a time, they do know they are loved.
It’s really all about perspective, right? While I may not be a full-fledged fan of donuts, I am a fan of what he is trying to do with our girls by building memories.
The very shape of a donut reminds me of a profound principle in life: to focus on what is there, instead of what is not there. This deep-rooted habit of the attitude of gratitude is evident in those who find joy and contentment in their lives.
I recently bought a sign for our house that sits on a window sill above our dining table. I see it every morning. Though my husband forbid me at one time to ever buy another sign for our home again, I just could not pass this one up. I do have a bit of a stubborn streak, as you might notice.
The sign reads, “Let whatever you do today be enough.”
Originally, my performance-driven tendencies thought, “That’s a cop out! If you don’t do much, that’s just a way to justify yourself.” But, I am learning to live by grace alone, so I tried to reframe it and see another perspective: I only have today, so I’m going to live to the fullest, be content and let it be enough. I like that perspective better because it helps me stop trying to live beyond what I can control, and to not be frustrated with all I did not get to within the day.
Being thankful, grateful, and joyful is a matter of how one views their life, their spouse, their children, and their self. Research shows us that happiness is not developed by circumstances or achievements, but from an attitude. Some of the most miserable people have anything they want, whenever they want. I am not saying that ignorance is bliss, but a sober sense of appreciating what is good helps all of us, no matter how big the hole in our donut. Thanksgiving is a time of year that helps us all pause and try to notice the good in our lives, even if it’s just during the meal.
Letting whatever I do today be enough shapes how I treat my husband, as I may not have tomorrow to tell him how much I appreciate him.
Letting whatever I do today be enough shapes whether I spend my time cleaning my kitchen versus being with my children.
Letting whatever I do today be enough shapes my choices about integrity, the time I spend on media, the efforts I put into my relationships with God and others, and how I would want to be remembered in the end.
Yesterday is already gone and tomorrow is not a guarantee. But today…we do have today. What if we resisted the urge to dismiss our struggles and pretend all is good? What if we stopped depleting our energy by comparing our selves and our lives to others? What if we focused our energy on our “donut” of what we do have, instead of the “hole” of what we wish we had?
Here’s a challenge for you… Make a list of everything you are thankful for. Revisit that list every day until the New Year. Notice the difference in your mind, heart, and attitude by simply meditating on what is good.
We choose our perspective even if we do not choose our circumstances. You are the CEO of your attention — lead it well. And whatever you do today, let it be enough.
Have a Happy Thanksgiving!
(To be honest, all this writing has me craving a pumpkin donut now!)
