Written by Monte Schmidt, Counselor at Living Wholehearted

Whether leading ourselves, our loved ones, a small group or an organization, most people intuitively desire to have these two powerful words describe them as a leader: humility and confidence. But how is this done? Can it be done? At first glance, these two powerful words appear to be on opposite ends of the spectrum. They seem to cancel each other out, or work against each other like a teeter-totter in motion, either being up or down but never on top at the same time.

Written by Melinda Arnold, M.A. LPC, Certified Sex Therapist

Sexuality is a topic that comes up frequently in counseling. It is a subject that touches each of us, though I have found that understanding what “healthy sexuality” is continues to elude most individuals. Discussing the subject often becomes a conversation about what is not healthy and can become a shame-fueled list of “do”s and “don’t”s. Limiting our understanding of sexuality to a list of morally acceptable behaviors does not adequately describe what “healthy” is, let alone what “sexuality” is.

Co-Founder Terra Mattson has written a great article on trust on the MyCourageousGirls.com website. Courageous Girls is a curriculum that Terra has developed to “help moms discover their own courage in raising a daughter who knows herself as LOVED”

I am practicing the discipline of being unhurried (insert long sigh here).

After launching a counseling and organizational business with my husband, managing a private practice and a team of ten practitioners, starting Courageous Girls, publishing my first book, raising two girls, living life-on-life with our community and church, carpooling, doing laundry, laundry, laundry and squeezing in a date here and there, I had just about come to the point where all I needed was a partridge in a pear tree. But then, I had an awakening; I realized I needed to return to the days of margin, the days of saying “no-thank you” and breathing a little deeper as I wait for the next thing on my calendar (instead of tripping on my shoes and running into the wall on my way out the door).

One would assume that highly profitable companies have healthy work environments; this is true for some of the professional organizations that grace the pages of Forbes and the Wall Street Journal. However, they just as likely might not.

In my line of work, I look beyond marketing hype, the cultural values espoused on walls, and flyers over the water cooler. If I simply pay attention to the people within an organization, for even just a short period of time, I’ll feel their pulse. The importance of this information is that I can then use it to evaluate how a company can operate more productively. If there are places within the organization that could use some fine-tuning, I can bring awareness to them. I am not looking to catch companies doing something wrong; rather, I am on mission to assess, solve, and ultimately prevent the root-level personnel issues that fuel broader, systemic problems that most organizational leaders deal with today.

For those not familiar with Play Therapy, it may seem like an odd concept. As a required course in my graduate studies program, I distinctly remember thinking that “this is definitely not going to be something I utilize as a therapist.” I couldn’t have been more wrong. In a nutshell, the Play Therapy treatment method helps children process what they have experienced, make sense of their reactions and feelings to their experiences, and ultimately helps them achieve a greater sense of self so that they feel okay with who they are. Play, in its simplest form, is a natural – yet dynamic – self-healing process children engage in. Just as adults use talk therapy to help process their experiences (trauma, grief, anxiety, relational issues, etc.), children use toys and simple play as symbolic self-expression. Spend five minutes observing a park full of kids — you’ll see all kinds of stories, imaginative play, active motor skills, and self-regulation happening. Garry Landreth, a pioneer of Child Centered Play Therapy, sums it up well: “The toys are their [children’s] words, and play is their language.” 

Movements start with one voice declaring, “It’s time.” In a world of confusing messages directed at women, the stakes have never been higher to raise daughters who are confident in their identities, courageous to impact their world, and rooted in grace. But raising daughters who have sustained relationships with a personal, loving, and grace-filled God, and who know their purpose in life, requires more than just hope or routine attendance at Sunday morning church services. It requires more than just solid self- esteem, a good education and parents who love their children. Those things are important, but what is really required is laying down our lives for our daughters—entering into their world to support them and committing ourselves to becoming Courageous Girls alongside them.

One of the special things a dad can do for his daughter early on in her life is to lead her into fun and exciting shared experiences where she learns how to risk. Not only is this a natural inclination for many dads (who enjoy active pursuits themselves), but it directly connects to a father’s commitment to help his daughter develop as a courageous girl for life.