Valentine’s Day has come and gone. The chocolate has all been eaten and the flowers have faded and dropped their petals. 

Life continues as everything around us turns from shades of red and pink to a vibrant green as we anticipate the celebration of an Irish Saint. But before we move on, let’s stop and remember the essence of what Love truly is.  

Love is not a feeling. Feelings come and go – that is why we call them e-motions. They move.

Love is, however, a decision. It’s a verb that implies action. Here are four simple ways to remember the essence of love that lasts throughout the seasons. 

L – Looks

Love looks for ways to serve and meet needs with intentionality. Stop and notice the one you love two times a day. Serve them in the little moments with a thoughtful thank you or by bringing them coffee in the morning. 

O – Optimistic 

Love is optimistic to what is possible and what is good. Love always hopes and believes that we can make it through whatever we are facing. It’s a resolve and a mind-set to go the long-haul.

V – Vulnerability 

Love is a vulnerability to let others in and allow them to know your needs, your hurts, your true thoughts and feelings. It doesn’t hide or keep records of wrongs, but rather shares openly and allows people in. 

E – Empathetic 

Love is empathetic and joins those who are hurting or sees things from another’s view. Empathy leaves its own perspective and sits with one in their point-of-view and maybe even feels it with them. No fixing needed here, just connection and presence. 


Maybe once in a while, bring home a flower or offer to go out for a favorite dinner. These moments do add a little icing on the cake. However, no one can survive just on icing, so focus on the main meal ingredients, which occur day in and day out of ordinary life year round.  Small shifts over long periods of time creates long-lasting change. For true LOVE never fails. 


Written by Jeff & Terra Mattson

Founders & Owners, Living Wholehearted, LLC